Not So Young Today

My eyes often burn
My hands shake, but not too much
My back aches and is never settled
The body I once knew is fading away
My hair has long since begun to turn grey
You would think I'm old

Still in my prime and yet so far from what I desire
to be

Vibrant and happy
Fresh and unafraid
Strong and on top of the world.

Listen to me talk...
Watch my labored walk...
I sigh like I've seen and been through it all...
I have loved and lived enough for a hundred lifetimes...
I have learnt lessons and have the scars of all my burns...

If you didnt already know who I am,
You would think I'm old

Heaven’s rain, he called it

If not for the ring, she’d have fallen

Head over heels, right then and there

She prayed he couldn’t see it

When she said she couldn’t believe it

Because what she wanted was that touch

If it showed, she prayed not too much

With tingling skin she longed to begin a whole different journey

Lord, she was yearning for that kiss

Would her life be the same without that bliss?

Taking a deep breath, with the only sanity she had left

She smiled while clasping his hand

Regretting, as she stood up, that she didn’t have that kind of man

Just walk away, she told herself as she did just that

Forget the verbal seduction and don’t you dare look back

You know that’s what he wants from you- to get you in that place

Where one body finds another merging with more passion than grace

That rain would make you shiver

And heavens would hear your cries

If he got where he wanted to be

Right between your thighs

Just close the door behind you girl

It’s only trouble there

Fine he’d make your toes curl

And he’d caress you hair…

And at the table where she left him

Her touch still tingled on his skin

He knew he’d long for her

It was more than just a whim.

My chest can’t hold the waves of pain anymore... they resonate through my breastplate and fingertips and echo into the silence around me... silence around me.

At first I felt flooded and was ready to drown, but I grew gills to adapt to the misery and heartache but the pressure is increasing and I just can’t do this. This fighting. This fighting for myself. So it’s going right through me.

who will not judge me?

No consolation, no comfort

No touch

No love

Only heaps of hot red blame

Blame

Blame

Blame

Oh, Music

Have you ever listened to a song... with one ear vaguely on the lyrics... the noise of the notes and the music is enough to make you want to sigh. And cry.

And then you play back and everything you thought in the first instance is exactly what the song is.

It’s heartbreaking and speaks right into your own heart.

And you want to laugh and smile because music has finally been written for your life, but you want to wail at the same time- or at least let tears slip silently down your face because that’s what’s happening on the inside.

If there was ever hope

Ever love

Ever broken hearts

Ever happiness

Oh music, you have spoken it to me as if you were in my head