I Wish These Thoughts on No One

What if you’ve just lost the greatest thing that could have ever happened to you?

Too afraid to make a decision. Too scared to make a commitment. Too unsure of your own feelings that you let everything slip through your fingers… 

That feels like me right now. My hands are shaking and it my mind is racing.

The conversation went downhill so fast… and I knew it was headed there before he even caught on to where we were going. He didn’t mean for it to go that way and I know I didn’t want for it to go there… the feeling of 'uneasy' came in way before he told me anything. And. It. Just. Got. Worse.

He didn’t ask me what I wanted. He didn’t ask me what he could give me. He asked me what I had learnt… I don’t think I gave him the right answer. When is the absolute truth ever the right answer?!

Maybe this is for the best.

Or maybe this is just…

What if you’ve just lost the greatest man that could have ever loved you?

Vicious Cycles

I brought the trash back into the house.

I had dusted all the windows

Wiped down all the surfaces and they were starting to get their shine back.

I had vacuumed every nook and cranny

I had recovered all the beds and scrubbed all the tubs

I had laundered the linen

Polished the silver

Made myself ready for your arrival

And then I brought the trash back into the house.

What's Changed

You used to ask who I was talking to when it wasn’t you

You once said it would be good if we greeted each other even if we didn’t feel like it

You used to say you had so much love to give and you just wanted someone to give it to

I know you said you were quiet but you didn’t say we would never talk

I know you have a business to run and you have lots of work to do, but am I that insignificant?

I never thought I could be forgotten or ignored by someone who said they love me too much to lose me

You once said you love me too much to let me go

You once said 'Trust has to be earned…' is this how you build it?

You once said we are where I want us to be

You once said that I’m the girl you want to center your world around

You once said I rock your world and that the thought of losing me was a nightmare

You once told me I was perfect for you