Showing posts with label heartbreak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartbreak. Show all posts

Saturday, January 26, 2013

21 Questions



You like the idea of my teeth cracking?
Maybe one or two scraping against my flesh as I swallow them involuntarily?
Does it give you pleasure to see my eyes water when your fist withdraws from my face?
Maybe that imprint the force of the impact leaves upon my skin?
Would you get off faster if I screamed louder now, before I hit my threshold for pain?
I mean, your pleasure, would it peak if you knew how much I was in pain from the get go?
You are laughing even though I'm scratching your flesh off and fighting for my life?
Was I insane to think you were the strong and confident type and beat me because you can't express your emotions?
Well of course, but that doesn’t make it ok, does it?
Are you going to let me walk out the door this time?
Will you watch silently this time as I cram all my belongings into the two suitcases you let me call mine?
Rather than grab my things and burn them before you will let me walk away?
will you step aside and let me get in my car and drive away with my bones intact?
I won't have to spend a night in a new ER will I, you'll allow me reprieve this time?
Are you crazy, do you think I want to stay here another night?
You think it's ok to sleep with whomever you please while I sit back and live in lonely misery?
You think I am going to sit and wait for another life threatening encounter tonight?
Do you know how long I have been thinking of releasing myself from your abusive grasp?
You think I won't fight back when it is all about joy and the air I breathe?
I will battle with every last bead of breath you may draw from me, don't you believe it?
Do you like the flowers they chose with your coffin?
better you than me, I say...

‎10-‎Jan-‎10

Friday, December 14, 2012

I Give Up...

...do you?

In the wakes of hurricanes, the aftermath as evidenced on deserted battlefields...
In the recesses of my mind, the results as evidenced on the face of the brokenhearted.

The house we built on that solid foundation has been wiped away like it was never created.
We stand here, facing the ruins and wonder, is it even worth trying again?
The pieces of our home still exist and the solid rock upon which we began, remains in tact
We stand here, facing the ruins and wonder, is it even worth trying again?

In the wake of hurricanes, the aftermath on deserted battlefields...
In the recesses of my mind, the results as evidenced on the face of the brokenhearted.

The wounds bled deep but the scars will eventually heal.
The tears shed as we fought and travailed to a victory that could only be called our own won't go uncounted
Having beaten down the opponents standing in our love's way, we stood on the ridge
and looked over all we'd been through, fought for, believed in
And where there should have been pride and peace, there was unrest and scorching doubts
about whether we had done the right thing... had we lost too much to gain what we wanted?

In the wake of hurricanes, the aftermath on deserted battlefields...
In the recesses of my mind, the results as evidenced on the face of the brokenhearted.

I sit alone in the dark. Alone where you left me.
The bright, hot African sun is shining today... but it's still dark.
How can my mind's I* possibly trudge through the bleak nothing that you left inside?
How can I possibly know up from down and back from front
when the light of my heart has been doused by the torrent of my own tears?
The doubts now pounce where they never dared leave a shadow
The voices shout their heralds where they never even had a court
Surely, there is something I can do to bring us back to... us. Bring you and I back to us

In the wake of hurricanes, the aftermath on deserted battlefields...
In the recesses of my mind, the results as evidenced on the face of the brokenhearted.

Shuttered and revealing nothing. Like the house, if we had prepared for the storm.
Growing greener and fresher everyday. Like the field would when the trampled sprouts spring back and the blood dries.
Silence reigns and my thoughts are still.
Put on a smile and give the rest of me to the world that needs me.

In the wake of hurricanes, the air is still and heavy. Weighing upon your chest like the guilt of regret.
The aftermath on deserted battlefields... blood, sweat and tears wasted on the dead, gone and forgotten lovers.
In the recesses of my mind, I search for the answers. Where we went wrong and how the hell I missed the signs.
The results as evidenced on the face of the brokenhearted are tears and trembling lips. When is it enough, when should we keep trying?

We made it through the storm, we managed through the fight... and then we fell.
The strength of my mind and all my love couldn't hold me up
I tried to hold on, grasping at straws as I drowned in my own misery.
Choking on tears so thick, I failed to speak- reserving my energy for the survival of the 'we' I always cherished

But I'm saying it now.
I give up.

Do you?

In the wake of hurricanes, families help each other put the pieces back together and the building begins again
In the aftermath on deserted battlefields, soldiers carry each other to the barracks to find strength in numbers and get ready for the next encounter
In the recesses of my mind, I still hear you say the words 'I love you' with a gentleness that stilled my soul...
The results as evidenced on the face of the brokenhearted, when their pleas are unanswered. In their words, devoid now of any happiness, apart from anything akin to hope.

I give up.

Thursday, July 19, 2012


Just to get the ball rolling, I found something I wrote quite a while back... I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could find the exact reason I wrote this piece in my memory banks, but I am not up for that :)

There is no song to accompany this one just yet. If anyone reads this and has one in mind, feel free to comment.

“Untitled”

I’ll cover my ears but not to hear you say goodbye
I’ll cover my face but not for you to see me cry
            I could be a soldier but the plane is too loud
            I could be a woman but have I not vowed
I’ll cover my mouth but not to say the words I must
I’ll cover my heart but not to block the final thrust
            I could be a singer but all I want is to kiss
            I could be a woman but I have dreaded this!
I’ll cover my self, cover my soul but not because of who you are
I’ll cover the pain, uncover the joy that we have come this far
            Who would ever thought it, I’d not have bought it
            That you and I would say farewell, tears in my lids may well
But cover up the sorrow. I must to keep it from attack
Cover up the longing just in case I want my baby back
Cover that soulful throaty groan, turn it into laughter
Cover that old fairy tale of Happy Ever After

written 13/08/06 by KaBabyblu

Thank you for reading.